How to Tell Your Child They’re Going to a Social Skills Group So They’re Willing to Go

Sep 1

Telling your child that they’re going to a social skills group can feel tricky.

You may be excited about the opportunity for your child to build friendships, gain confidence, improve communication, and learn strategies for navigating social situations. But your child may hear something very different:

"There’s something wrong with me."
"I’m bad at making friends."
"Why do I have to go to therapy?"
"I don't need help!"

For some children, the words "social skills group" can immediately create resistance.

The good news? How you introduce the group can make a tremendous difference in how your child feels about attending.

Here are some strategies to help your child feel positive, empowered, and even excited about joining a social skills group.

1. Start With the Benefits, Not the Problem

One of the biggest mistakes parents can make is introducing a social skills group by explaining what their child is doing "wrong."

Instead of:

"You need to go because you don't know how to make friends."

Try:

"I found a group where you can practice making friends, playing games, and learning some cool strategies for handling tricky social situations."

The goal is to frame the group as an opportunity to learn and grow, rather than a consequence for something your child is struggling with.

Children are much more likely to embrace an experience when they understand what's in it for them.

2. Avoid Making It Sound Like Therapy

Depending on your child's age and personality, the word "therapy" may feel intimidating.

You don't necessarily need to lead with:

"You're going to speech therapy for your social skills."

Instead, you might say:

"You're going to meet with some other kids who are working on friendship skills. You'll play games, do activities, and practice things that can help make friendships easier."

For an older child or teenager, you can be more direct:

"This group is designed to help you feel more confident in social situations. You'll learn strategies for things like joining conversations, handling disagreements, reading social cues, and making connections with other people."

Be honest—but focus on the purpose and benefits rather than the deficit.

3. Give Your Child a Reason to Be Excited

Before your child attends, find out what the group actually does.

Is there:

A favorite game?
A fun activity?
A cooking or community component?
A sports activity?
Opportunities to practice with other kids?
A reward system?
A special interest incorporated into the group?

Tell your child about the parts that are likely to appeal to them.

For example:

"I heard there's going to be a game you really like!"

"You're going to get to meet some kids around your age, and you'll be doing activities together."

You don't have to oversell it. Just help your child see that social skills groups aren't sitting around talking about feelings for an hour.

The best groups are active, engaging, and designed to make learning social skills fun.

4. Let Your Child Know That They Aren't the Only One

Some children worry that they are being singled out.

"Why do I have to go? Am I the only one who needs this?"

Reassure your child that everyone is learning something.

You might say:

"Everyone has things they are learning to get better at. Some people practice soccer. Some people practice reading. This group gives you a chance to practice friendship and communication skills."

This helps normalize social learning.

Even adults continue to work on communication, relationships, conflict resolution, and self-advocacy. Social skills are lifelong skills—not something that children either have or don't have.

5. Give Your Child Some Control

Whenever possible, give your child choices.

You could let them:

Choose what to wear.
Bring a preferred water bottle or comfort item.
Help select a snack.
Choose a fun activity to do afterward.
Look at pictures of the group location beforehand.
Meet the therapist before the first session.
Ask questions about what will happen.

You can also offer a simple choice:

"Would you like to go in with me, or would you like to walk in by yourself?"

Small choices can help children feel a sense of control and ownership over the experience.

6. Don't Promise That They'll Love It

It's tempting to say:

"You're going to have so much fun!"

But if your child arrives and feels nervous, uncomfortable, or unsure, they may immediately think, "Mom said this was going to be fun. She was wrong."

Instead, try:

"You might feel a little nervous the first time. That's okay. New things can feel uncomfortable. We'll give it a try and see what you think."

This sets a realistic expectation and gives your child permission to have feelings about the experience.

7. Prepare Them for What to Expect

Uncertainty can create anxiety.

Before the first session, explain what will happen in simple, predictable terms.

For example:

"We're going to arrive at 3:00. You'll meet the therapist and some other kids. You'll do a warm-up activity, play a game, practice a friendship skill, and then I'll pick you up at 4:00."

If possible, show your child:

Where they'll be going
What the room looks like
Who will be there
How long the session will last
What activities they might do

The more predictable the experience feels, the less intimidating it may become.

8. Don't Have a Big Conversation Right Before the Session

If your child tends to become anxious, don't wait until you're pulling into the parking lot to announce:

"By the way, you're starting a social skills group today!"

Instead, introduce the idea several days ahead of time.

Keep the conversation casual and positive. You can revisit it briefly without making it the center of attention.

"Remember the friendship group we talked about? That's tomorrow. I think you're going to get to do some really fun activities."

Then move on.

You want the experience to feel normal—not like a major life event.

9. Avoid Comparing Your Child to Other Children

Try not to say:

"Your sister doesn't have trouble making friends."

"Look how easily your cousin talks to people."

Comparison can increase shame and defensiveness.

Instead, focus on your child's individual strengths and goals:

"You've gotten really good at talking to people you know. Now we're going to practice some strategies that can help you feel more comfortable with new kids, too."

This communicates:

You are capable. You are growing. And we're simply giving you another tool.

10. Focus on Confidence, Not Perfection

The ultimate goal of a social skills group isn't for your child to become the most outgoing person in the room.

It's about helping children develop the skills and confidence to navigate the social world in a way that feels authentic to them.

That might mean learning how to:

Join a conversation
Enter a group activity
Ask someone to play
Handle losing a game
Read the room
Recognize when someone wants space
Understand another person's perspective
Resolve a disagreement
Advocate for themselves
Handle an unexpected change
Make and maintain friendships

Remind your child:

"You don't have to be perfect. You're just learning new strategies."

What If Your Child Still Says, "I Don't Want to Go"?

First, listen.

Instead of immediately trying to convince them, ask:

"What makes you not want to go?"

Their answer will give you valuable information.

Maybe they're worried about:

Meeting new kids
Being embarrassed
Being judged
Not knowing what to say
Being separated from a parent
Feeling different
Being bad at something
Not knowing what will happen

Once you understand the concern, you can address the actual fear rather than simply saying, "You have to go."

You can validate their feelings while maintaining the expectation:

"I understand that meeting new people can feel uncomfortable. It's okay to feel nervous. We're still going to give it a try, and I'll be there to support you."

A Simple Script for Parents

If you're not sure what to say, keep it simple.

You might say:

"I found a group for kids who want to get better at making friends and feeling comfortable around other people. You'll get to meet some kids your age, play games, and learn some strategies for tricky social situations. You don't have to be perfect, and you don't have to know what to do right away. The therapist will help you. I know trying something new can feel a little scary, but we're going to give it a try together."

Most importantly, communicate the message:

"There is nothing wrong with you. We're simply giving you another tool to help you feel confident."

The Right Social Skills Group Can Change the Conversation

When children experience a social skills group as a place where they are accepted, understood, and successful, their perspective can change dramatically.

What begins as:

"I don't want to go."

can eventually become:

"Are we going to group today?"

The goal isn't simply to teach social skills. It's to help children recognize their strengths, develop confidence, build meaningful connections, and feel more successful navigating the social world.

At Friendship Builders, we believe social skills should be taught in a way that feels engaging, supportive, practical, and fun. Our social skills groups give children opportunities to practice communication, friendship, emotional regulation, problem-solving, and self-advocacy with peers in a supportive environment.

Because sometimes the first step toward building friendships is simply helping a child feel comfortable enough to walk through the door.

Molly Stuckey